Through I walk through the valley of shadow and death I will fear no evil, for thou art with me.
As I looked at the number on my phone I knew that it was the on call doctor calling me back. Hello Anthony, this is the on-call physician I wanted to let you know your COVID test results and you are positive for COVID. As the words came out I first felt a sense of relief that I knew what it was.
After a short discussion on what I could do, I hung up and told my wife my results. She too looked a little relived though still a little worried. As we continued through the week things were going OK until my wife started not to feel the best. One of my concerns turned into reality, spreading it to my family. It was happening and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
As I saw my kids playing in the living room I knew that it was too late to send them anywhere safe and all that could be do was to hope and pray that did not get it. As a parent and husband it is my duty to protect my family. It seemed that it was evident though, I did all I could it was not enough. There were two things that I knew that I could hold on to Prayer and hope, I clung on to them with death grip.
As the next week started I called my transplant team and made them aware that I had COVID and what should I do. The advice was keep hydrated and keep on eye on the fever, take Tylenol as needed and be strong. If the symptoms worsen call them back for I may need to go to the hospital. I needed to quarantine myself for 20 days but most importantly be encouraged that you can beat this. After getting off the phone with them, it felt that there was a possibility that I would come out of the COVID valley.
Within a few days my wife started to feel much better though she could not smell. I neither lost my smell or taste which was a blessing until my two year old walked by and um lets just say she needed changed. My children are 6 months – 3 years old and if you think that you can rest, think again. Kids amaze me they are full of energy and life and if they get sick usually they bounce back faster than us as the parents. If my kids ever got COVID it did not stay with more than a half a day.
It was during the nights that not only did the fever seemed to be more intense and it was harder to breath but is was during those times that thoughts would try to come into my mind such as, you are not strong enough, its near Christmas your kids may not have their father, and if you beat COVID you may lose your kidney. COVID not only affected me physically but it also tried to affect me mentality. One thing that I have learned over the years and my through my experience on my own kidney trails is that the battle is in the mind. If you lose it in your mind, you will more than likely lose it in your body. Negative thoughts can steel your sleep and peace and as these thoughts came in, yes, it stole sleep but not my peace. I think Napoleon Hill had the one of the best explanations for how important the mind is with his quote…..
What ever the mind of man can conceive and believe the mind of man will achieve…Napoleon Hill
During the worst night when it seemed the fever would not lift and these negative thoughts flooded my mind, it seemed as though I stood face to face with COVID and even death itself as my strength started to fade away those same words to that song came to me, I know on whom my faith, I know in whom I trust.” In my mind I stood face to face with this disease and was not going to back down and said I will be here for my kids on Christmas morning. I will beat COVID and my kidney will be fine. I am stronger than I look and have fought to hard to get my kidney and have fought to hard to keep my kidney and you will not take it nor my life away! There is still a great work for me to do and you can not stop me.
I laid back down I fell asleep and slept the whole night without waking up which I had not done for a while. The next morning when I woke something had happened. There was no fever. It had left and did not return. I could breath better though was still weak. I was on the road to recovery. I was able to breath better when I walked though I was weak but I could walk. I could still be that father to my children and husband to my wife. I could still enjoy Christmas with my family and I had another day to not only live but to make a positive impact.
It was in those nights that I reflected back on my life and question did I do all that I was supposed to do? If I left this world, what legacy would I leave behind? Was it a positive legacy did my story help others? Did I affect generations to come? These were the questions I asked and I was able to answer them and felt a peace that I had made a positive impact and if life was not done with me, I would beat COVID to which I did.
I have a questions for you when you are gone what legacy will you leave behind? Will it be a good and positive legacy or the will it be a negative? It’s up to each of us to live in such a way that when others talk about us they say, “Yes, I remember them. They helped me through some hard time” or ” I can not forget them for they always had a kind word and a smile and uplifted anyone they were around.” What a responsibility we each have to make the world better place.
This story is still not done yet. In the next part of my journey I will talk about getting the vaccine and beyond. You will not want to miss it. By the way don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss any new and exciting content. Until then you can make it to the next peak, we are cheering you on.