Kidney Trail Base Camp

My First Year

I know I’m slow but I’m a bit scared

I know I’m nervous but I can feel the stares

I know you are getting upset with me because I don’t know

I know we been here a long time and you’re ready to go

This is hard for me but I want to prove to you 

That I can do this but I need you to see me through

These long hours are quite rough

I still keep pushing and in your eyes it’s still not enough 

I make mistakes just like the next person, so please be patient with me

When you were in my shoes , did you make mistakes and begged for a plea, like me 

Did you know I only wanted to make you proud

But I was startled when you yelled at me so loud

I felt the embarrassment worse than death

I felt humiliated as if I had nothing left.

I cried on my break without even eating

Yet I still come back to the floor for more of your beating

The changeover challenged me like nothing other

The intimidation of you and those around me was beyond a smother

Why are you treating me like this when all I want to do is understand 

With your knowledge and expertise, you should be lending me a helping hand. 

I am still processing believe it or not

And this process is a lot 

I’m still going to come back tomorrow to prove to you I can do this

Years from now I hope you read this with sure bliss 

This is my First Year and not my last. 

         By Ashley “ Smash “ McGinnis