” I Don’t Know About This?”( A Patient’s Initial Dialysis Treatment) Pt.26….Things Fall Apart

So Naomi, I’m sure Oscar told you all about how we met. We only talked briefly that day at the gas station. However he didn’t have time to mention much about you. Naomi replies,” ……”Well the last 2 years have been rough for us. From the time we moved here 6 years ago things were doing quite well, and then life happened. Oscar lost his job, I got injured at work, went into the hospital, got sick, our income declined , we lost our house and as of the end of this week, we are getting evicted from our apartment around the corner. You know things just happened so fast and it crumbled right before us. It was like watching a soft piece of tissue just catch fire and it happened so quickly. We don’t have any family here. Our only son committed suicide years prior to us moving here from Rhode Island. It’s just been one thing after another…..Even though I’m on Hemodialysis, I feel like a burden and feel so bad for Oscar. He’s trying his best to hold it together. At night I feel hopeless when I hear him crying in the dark saying “ Please Lord, why is?”…..” This is a lot Belle. “ I Don’t Know About This?”…… It’s so surreal…… I replied ,”

Oh my goodness Naomi, I tell you what. My husband and I stay a few blocks away from here as well. We are practically neighbors in a sense. We have a lower level basement in our home. It’s not much but we use it for guest if we have visitors. It has a pull out couch, bathroom and a small kitchen dining area. It’s not 5 star but it’s cozy. If you want, and are interested you and Oscar both can stay with us…….Naomi gives a blank stare and tears of joy and relief fall from her eyes like Niagara Falls…..she replies,” Oh Belle, you don’t even know me or my husband that well and you’re opening up your home to us!”,,,” This is so amazing, but we can’t afford it. But Thank you…… Mrs.Halona replies…” We aren’t asking for any money. All we ask is that you pay it forward to the next person when you’re able.”….. Naomi replies ,” Well who would’ve thought that my very first Hemodiaysis treatment I would experience such agony , but also supreme gratitude. Thank you Belle. “

“ Now fast forward to the present Dwelyn, after Belle and Oscar moved in with us things were getting better for them. Belle was adjusting to Hemodialysis more and Oscar was starting to have more hope. Still down on his luck with finding work though .Then one day my worse fear came to reality . My husband passed away in his sleep on a day I had to go to Dialysis. It must’ve passed away throughout the night while sleeping. He had a few complications with his heart and suddenly lost the battle. I cried so much until I felt so empty inside. I held his hand with my head bared down on both of our hands while he laid in bed. Belle and Oscar were down stairs not knowing of how I felt upstairs until I finally called them from the top of the stairs of my room door . At the time I was walking with a cane majority of the time but needed a wheelchair every now and then. Belle too, had a walker but sometimes needed a wheelchair too. Oscar didn’t know what to do. He was more in shock then we were seemingly. Now Oscar was the man of the house I guess. Lol…..As time went on neither one of us could drive , so thank goodness we stayed close to the Dialysis clinic and a grocery store was close too. Oscar would walk with us both to dialysis or would push us both in the wheelchairs when needed. Belle was still second shift and I got bumped to first shift so it wouldn’t be much of a strain on Oscar to walk with us back and forth. Then Dwelyn we were faced with another tragedy. After my treatment I noticed Oscar wasn’t there to pick me up to wheel me back home like he usually does. It was sad to learn that Belle passed away in her sleep the night prior I supposed. Oscar must’ve realized it when he got back home after dropping me off at Dialysis. I’m sure he was in disbelief. Naomi was his world like I mentioned before. They both, Naomi and Oscar were like children our husband and I never had. Besides my niece, they were …Excuse me are family. So after losing my husband and then Naomi to follow, it was a definite hole in my heart. Oscar took it really hard. After Naomi’s death , Oscar wasn’t the same. He mourned so heavily day after day. He lost sign of hope. He stop eating . He wanted to give up on life. He wrote me a letter a week after Naomi’s home going. Here’s what it said:

Dear Momma Belle, 

        I hope that you will not be mad at me but I have to leave. Each time I lay down at night I picture Naomi there by my side. Just to reach over and it’s just a memory of her figure. I can still here her laughing like she always does. I can still feel her presence around me as if she just walks by. I picture her smile ever so clearly in my mind it’s hard to erase. I don’t want to erase it. I have to accept the fact that she’s gone and never coming back. I will be back one day to check on you. I just need time to grieve and be alone. 

                          Good Bye Momma Belle.

“Dwelyn , Oscar went back to his old ways of living life as a person living on the street. See, Oscar was never homeless. He just developed a homeless mentality. From the day my husband and I met him at the gas station , he was down on his luck and already counted himself out and down for the count. Life has a way of showing people the right things and the wrong things due to our perception. It’s up to us to make the appropriate decision of what to do next. Oscar wore the same outfit for weeks after Naomi passed. He never packed their belongings from our home. He just left and roamed the streets for weeks. After a month passed, it was on a Wednesday I remember so vividly. I finished my treatment and as I wheeled myself into the lobby, guess who walks through the sliding glass door of the Dialysis clinic? “ “ It’s Oscar……he says,” Hello Momma Belle, I was thinking about you a lot while I was gone. I hope you forgive me for stepping away so suddenly. Naomi’s death really took a toll on my soul that has been a forever debt that can’t be paid. My sincerest apology!” I said to Oscar,” It’s okay son, now let’s go home!”

“So ever since then Dwelyn, Oscar and I have been living our lives as normal as we can. He still lives in our basement as him and Naomi once did. He helps me around the house. Goes grocery shopping for me, and helps me with going to my doctor’s appointments when needed. I still think about my husband from time to time. Only the good times. Oscar talks about Naomi from time to time also. He’s still picking up the pieces , but he’s managing. And Dwelyn that’s the story of how I met Oscar. Who knows how far a Turkey Sandwich can go ☺️😉.

Published by DiabeTech77

Hello to all of you our wonderful Kidney Trail Hikers . My name is Dwelyn Williams, CCHT, Immediate Past President NANT . I would like to say Thank You for joining us on The Kidney Trails. A brief story of who I am . I started my Hemodialysis Technician career in January of 2000 in Charlotte,NC. During that time and now the present I have been a Traveling Hemodialysis Technician, a Chronic Preceptor, an Acute Preceptor, Kidney Smart Educator, proud NANT Board Member , and a Hemodialysis Technician Instructor. My current status is a proud employee of Fresenius Kidney Care- Arcadia as a Hemodialysis Technician CCHT/VAM and also an Acute Hemodialysis Technician here in the Phoenix, Arizona area. My involvement with dialysis goes back as far as the early 90’s. My mother was a ESRD patient during that time. We as a family contributed to her well being by assisting her with CAPD at home. After a year of doing a home modality, she ventured out into outpatient dialysis in a chronic setting of hemodialysis. With that being said , I developed not only a interest I dialysis but an extreme curiosity of what this disease was and its effect on my mother and our family. This placed a heavy matter on me due to the fact that it was beyond personal and it could happen to any of our loved ones. Serving as a NANT member and on the NANT Board has aloud me to express my concern and issues amongst others. The ability to possibly influence others. To share my passion within my profession alongside developing my craft. My goal is to encourage every Nephrology Clinical Technician that they are important in more ways than one, and to know that they matter in our patients lives. I hope to inspire more Nephrology Clinical Technicians to take on more leadership roles in their communities, clinics, and NANT. As a newly Author and Kidney Trails Family member it’s is my duty to deliver the most epic and profound stories of my vision of Renal World. What a great time none other than during this tough time we are having in the world today being impacted by the COVID 19/ Coronavirus. We hope as you hike with us along The Kidney Trails , that each step we take is with Essential Potential.

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